What We Carry: The Weight of Regret
“You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” — Often attributed to C. S. Lewis
“Simon son of John, do you love me?” — John 21:17
One of the most heartbreaking moments in the life of Peter was when he denied Jesus for the third time after Jesus had been arrested. \
He did just what Jesus predicted he would do, which made it even worse.
And then their eyes met as Jesus was being led away.
I wonder how many times Peter replayed that night in his mind.
“I do not know him.”
Three times.
Three denials.
Only hours earlier, Peter had insisted that even if everyone else abandoned Jesus, he never would.
Then the pressure came.
And Peter failed spectacularly.
Luke tells us that after their eyes met, Peter walked outside the courtyard of the high priest's lavish house at the edge of town and “wept bitterly.”
Imagine carrying that memory.
But after the resurrection, Jesus finds Peter beside the Sea of Galilee.
They share breakfast.
And then Jesus asks Peter a question.
“Do you love me?”
Not:
How could you have done that?
Not:
What were you thinking?
Not even:
Are you sorry?
“Do you love me?”
Three denials.
Three questions.
And then, sitting on the shore with the risen Christ, he gets three opportunities to say yes.
Jesus isn't pretending the past didn't happen. He's showing Peter that his worst moment doesn't get to define the rest of his life.
We all have things we wish we could change.
Words we wish we hadn't spoken.
Choices we would make differently.
Relationships we wish we had handled better.
Opportunities we missed.
People we hurt.
And sometimes we carry those moments for years.
Regret can teach us something. It can lead us toward confession, reconciliation, wisdom, and change.
But regret makes a terrible permanent address.
Eventually, a point comes when constantly punishing ourselves for yesterday keeps us from faithfully living today.
Jesus doesn't erase Peter's past.
He gives Peter a future.
He tells Peter, “Feed my sheep.”
In other words: You still have something to do.
That is grace.
Your mistakes are part of your story.
They don't have to become its title.
Maybe forgiveness means believing that God knows everything you've done—and still isn't finished with you.
You cannot change what happened yesterday, but grace means yesterday doesn't get the final word about tomorrow.
May this be good news to you and me, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all, now and forever. Amen.
Prayer
God of grace, you know the things I wish I could change. Help me learn from my mistakes without being imprisoned by them. Give me courage to seek forgiveness where I need it, make amends where I can, and receive the grace you freely offer. Help me believe that my past does not determine my future. Amen.
Reflection Questions
- What regret do you find yourself replaying?
- Is that regret teaching you something, or is it simply punishing you?
- What might Jesus be inviting you to do next?
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