Presby-Musings

I don't do a lot of marriage counseling in my pastoral ministry--mostly by choice.   I'll happily work with couples on spiritual matters and offer what guidance I can when they're in need of help, but I will almost always refer them to a professional.  You see, even though I've got two advanced "divinity" degrees, twenty years of pastoral experience, countless hours of training, continuing education and personal reading and development in pastoral counseling... I am not ashamed to admit that I am not a trained counselor.  But, I have learned some things along the way--both in my life as a pastor and in my own nearly 27 years of wonderful marriage, and I will gladly share that with any couple I do counsel.   In fact, the one lesson that I unequivocally say was the most difficult yet helpful lesson I've learned is this:  Relationships require effort.    If you aren't working at the keystone relationships in your life ...

Today I am concluding a short mini-sermon series on marriage and relationships entitled "The Vow."  Marriage and committed relationships are hard.  They are are challenging.  But they are worth it.   And it's important for us to talk about marriage and committed relationships in church--and to learn what it takes to have a strong relationship that will stand the test of time, and all of the things that life throws at us.   Lots of Christians have clear ideas about marriage--what constitutes marriage, who should get married, who shouldn't get married... but here's a pesky statistic to deal with.   Christians seem to be failing in their marriages at a faster rate than everyone else.  I read recently that the divorce rate among evangelical Christians is higher than just about any other demographic.  I think at the heart of this problem is that we have lost our understanding of what it means to make good promises and keep the...

Several years ago, just before my youngest son was born, my wife and two other sons went on an epic road trip to Niagra Falls.  We drove from Florida to North Carolina to stay at my in-laws house for one day and then drove to Pittsburgh where we hung out and enjoyed the city for a day or so, ate at an amazing diner in Buffalo, NY, and then made our way up to our ultimate destination: The Canadian side of Niagara Falls.  We did all of the tourist-y stuff at Niagara--everything we could think of at least.  We laughed, played, ate awesome meals... it is easily one of my favorite family vacations ever. Then we had to drive 14 and a half hours back home. Did I mention that my wife was 28 weeks pregnant and had a broken foot? Did I mention that there were two boys...ages 15 and 5... in the same car... in the back seat... of a Honda CRV for 14 and a half hours? Did I mention that my middle kid, who was pretty little then had not pooped for five days? And that we...

In my morning reading today, I read this incredible and uncomfortable quote from Anne Lamott's latest book Hallelujah Anyway:  "The world has an awful beauty.  This is a chaotic place, humanity is a chaotic place, and I am a chaotic place."  I do feel pretty chaotic most days.  Maybe you feel that way, too.  Much like the particles of the subatomic world that exists below our ordinary vision, we are constantly colliding with one another, exchanging energy and being transformed (for good or ill) by these constant collisions. I hold to the belief that God is at work in our lives all of the time, and it is our own limited ability to perceive that keeps us from being aware of God's guiding, loving presence.   Because of this belief, I also hold to the notion that God also places people in our paths (and us in theirs) for a reason.   Sometimes it's easy to see the reasons when being with a particular person fills us life, light and love.  Bu...

As a pastor, one of the most difficult and frequent questions I get asked goes something like this:  "How long do I keep forgiving people who constantly hurt me?"   It's a good question, because Jesus clearly taught that as his followers, we should forgive those who persecute us, and even taught that you should forgive as many as "seventy times seven" times if necessary.   What I've learned over the years, however, is that there is a difference between forgiving someone who hurts you, and being in relationship with someone who hurts you.   Forgiving someone for hurtful words or actions toward us is something that we are compelled to do as followers of Jesus.  We have been given radical and saving grace that we did not deserve, and in turn we are to offer that same kind of grace even to our enemies.   Forgiveness is, among other things, the act of setting yourself free--free from pain, free from guilt, anger, bitterness and anything else that k...

Today we are going to continue the sermon series that we started last week, a sermon series that is going to take us all the way through the month of August. The title of our sermon series is #struggle: Following Jesus in a Selfie-Centered world.  The basic overriding idea that will be moving us forward through this series is a simple one:  technology and social media are shaping our culture in ways that are often less than life-giving. Christians need to learn how to live faithfully and fully for Jesus within a culture that is--as we described it--"selfie-centered."   So last week we talked about how technology and social media have influenced our culture's ideas about contentment.  Today we're going to be talking about relationships.   One of the many things that I love about the technology that we use to communicate with is the immediacy that it offers us.  Back in high school when I wanted to talk to my wife when we were dating, I had to use the ...

This week I am starting a new sermon series--a two-parter, entitled "Love Song."  This is a series that is inspired and informed by a series of sermons I heard from Craig Groeschel , a preacher I admire.  I've given this series my own twist, of course, but I wanted to give credit where credit is due. Over the next couple of weeks we are going to be using some passages of Scripture that are very seldom read on Sunday mornings in the context of worship, and even more seldom as the source of a sermon.  You'll see why in a moment. I think that one of the many ways that our Enemy, Satan--the Accuser--seeks to bring down the people of God is by destroying marriages.  I shared in a sermon last year that the divorce rate among evangelical Christians is higher than almost every other demographic in America .  Something is definitely wrong in the Church. In my opinion, one of the main reasons why church going couples in America are struggling in their marriages...