The People God Uses: Gideon (Too Scared)

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.” — Mark Twain

“The LORD is with you, you mighty warrior.” — Judges 6:12

While completing my clinical pastoral education to prepare for ordination, I served as a chaplain at Florida Hospital in Orlando. 

One Sunday, I worked a twelve-hour shift and was told that morning that one requirement was to lead a worship service in the Psych Ward. 

Having seen the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, I expected something similar, and my expectations were met. 

When I was let in the common room where everyone was gathered, there were patients who were pacing back and forth, muttering to themselves; some were catatonic, and others were cheery and chatty. 

One guy sat in a corner, talking to someone who wasn't there. 

A woman near the door grabbed hold of my arm and gently began to rub it. 

The security guard who let me in, told her to stop, but she didn't.  

He asked if I had any pens or pencils on me because they could be used as weapons. 

I shook my head with what I could only describe as a dazed expression, while the woman kept rubbing my arm and murmuring unintelligible things. 

"I'll be just outside," the guard told me, "right there in that booth."  Then he shut and locked the door. 

Saying I was scared to death is an understatement.  

I was terrified. 

I remember thinking, "God, why in the world did you call me to do this?  I don't belong here."  

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is about a guy who was scared to death.  His name was Gideon.  

God starts off his call of Gideon to rescue God's people from oppression by calling him a "mighty warrior."  

When God calls Gideon a “mighty warrior,” Gideon is hiding.

Literally.

Israel is being terrorized by the Midianites, who repeatedly destroy their crops and livestock.

So Gideon is threshing wheat in a winepress.

You don't normally thresh wheat in a winepress.

You do it in the open where the wind can separate the grain from the chaff.

Gideon is hiding because he's afraid.

And that's where the angel finds him.

“The LORD is with you, you mighty warrior.”

I wonder whether Gideon looked around to see if someone else was standing behind him.

Who, me?

Gideon doesn't feel mighty.

He doesn't feel courageous.

He doesn't even sound particularly faithful.

His first response is essentially:

If God is with us, why is everything so terrible?

Then when God tells Gideon he will deliver Israel, Gideon responds:

“My clan is the weakest...and I am the least in my family.”

Translation:

You've got the wrong guy.

Gideon repeatedly asks God for signs.

He wants reassurance.

Then more reassurance.

Then a little more.

Gideon's faith isn't fearless.

It's hesitant.

Uncertain.

Sometimes downright shaky.

And God works through him anyway.

Maybe we misunderstand courage.

We imagine courageous people aren't afraid.

But perhaps courage is simply deciding that fear doesn't get the final vote.

There are moments when all of us feel like Gideon.

We know something needs to be done, but we don't feel brave enough to do it.

Have the conversation.

Try something new.

Stand up for someone.

Leave something unhealthy.

Begin again.

Speak the truth.

We wait for the fear to disappear.

Sometimes it doesn't.

Maybe faith isn't waiting until we're no longer afraid.

Maybe faith is taking one step while our knees are still shaking.

God calls Gideon a mighty warrior before Gideon can see it himself.

Perhaps God sees something in you that you haven't learned to see yet either.

That Sunday in the Psych Ward was a lesson I'll never forget.

I went to the front of the room and asked if anyone wanted to sing.  Some of them raised their hands. 

Then I led everyone in the room in singing just about every old hymn I could remember.  

Some thirty minutes later, I told them we were going to say the Lord's Prayer.  Everyone got quiet. 

And we prayed together.  Most of them knew it.  

Then I told them the service had ended, and people shook my hand.  The woman who had been rubbing my arm, gave me a hug.  

They kept waving at me as the security guard shut the door behind me.  I waved back through the glass.  

Sometimes, you do what you have been called to do, even when you're terrified.  And it's only after that you can really see God's hand in it.  

Courage doesn't mean fear has disappeared. Sometimes courage is simply deciding that fear won't choose your next step.

May it be so, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen. 

Prayer

God, you know the things that frighten me. When fear tells me to hide, remind me that you see possibilities in me that I cannot always see in myself. Give me enough courage for the next step—not because I am fearless, but because I trust that you are with me. Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. Where are you currently allowing fear to influence your decisions?
2. Have you ever discovered courage in yourself that you didn't know you had?
3. What is one faithful step you could take even if the fear doesn't disappear?