Faith Big Enough For Questions - Day Three: "Where Were You?"

“There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.” — Leonard Cohen

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” — John 11:21

Martha doesn't greet Jesus politely.

She confronts him.

Her brother Lazarus is dead.

And Jesus could have prevented it.

At least Martha believes he could have.

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

In other words:

Where were you?

I suspect many of us have prayed some version of that prayer.

Where were you when the diagnosis came?

Where were you when my marriage fell apart?

Where were you when my child was hurting?

Where were you when I begged you to help?

Where were you when the person I loved died?

Where were you, God?

Jesus' response to Martha is striking.

He doesn't shame her.

He doesn't say, “You shouldn't talk to me like that.”

He doesn't correct her theology before acknowledging her pain.

He stays.  He steps into the grief with her. 

Later, when Mary comes to Jesus and says exactly the same thing, Jesus weeps.

That may be one of the most important things Scripture tells us about God.

Jesus weeps.

He enters their grief before changing their circumstances.

Sometimes I've wanted God to explain something, and no explanation has come.

Maybe you've experienced that too.

Eventually I have had to decide whether God's silence means God's absence.

I don't believe it does.

That doesn't make suffering easy.

It doesn't make tragedy understandable.

And I don't think we should rush to explain pain with phrases like, “Everything happens for a reason.”

When we are going through grief, pain, confusion, and trying to make sense of it all, having someone tell us that is like a punch to the throat. 

Sometimes no explanation will make the loss acceptable.

Instead, we have a God who weeps.  Jesus showed us that.  

We have a God who enters our suffering.

A God who stands beside a grieving family at a tomb.

Martha's question doesn't drive Jesus away.

Neither will yours.

You are allowed to ask where God was.

You are allowed to tell God you are disappointed.

You are allowed to say, “I needed you, and I couldn't find you.”

Maybe faith isn't pretending we never feel abandoned.

Maybe faith is daring to speak our sense of abandonment to the God we still hope is listening.

Sometimes faith doesn't answer the question, “Where were you, God?” Sometimes faith discovers that God is willing to sit with us while we ask it.

May we learn what it means to trust in God's presence, even when we are struggling to feel it.  And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all, now and forever. Amen.  

Prayer

God, there have been moments when I needed you and could not find you. You know the places where disappointment and grief still live within me. Meet me there. When I cannot understand your ways, help me recognize your presence. And when there are no answers, remind me that I am not alone. Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. Have you ever experienced a season when God seemed absent?
2. How does Jesus weeping with Mary and Martha affect the way you understand God's presence in suffering?
3. Is there a disappointment with God that you need permission to express honestly?