Don't Get Angry?

Everyone has a different way of responding to stress, anxiety, frustrations, and disappointments.  

For some of us, it might mean withdrawing, seeking solitude, crying, doing a bunch of research, needing to drive for a while, or going for a run.  

Some of us also express ourselves through anger. 

Full disclosure, anger has always been my go-to when I'm responding to the challenges above, and it's taken me a lifetime to learn how to approach things differently. 

My three boys love to poke fun at some of the more colorful moments when I lost my temper at them or with something else.  I've learned to take it good naturedly.  

Hey, it's better than paying for therapy, I suppose.  

Along with learning that anger isn't the best way to deal with life's challenges, I've also learned that sometimes it's the best way to deal with certain issues, as long as it's directed wisely.  

Somewhere along the way, many Christians learned that anger is a spiritual failure.

Good Christians are patient.

Good Christians are nice.

Good Christians don't get angry.

Except Jesus did.

In Mark 3, Jesus encounters a man with a withered hand in the synagogue. The religious leaders watch closely to see whether Jesus will heal him on the Sabbath so they can accuse him of breaking the rules.

Jesus looks at them with anger.

“He looked around at them with anger; he was grieved at their hardness of heart.” — Mark 3:5

But notice something important.

Jesus isn't angry because someone insulted him.

He isn't angry because he didn't get his way.

He's angry because religious rules have become more important to these people than human suffering.

His anger grows out of compassion.

We see something similar when Jesus enters the Temple and overturns the tables of those exploiting worshipers.

Jesus gets angry.

So perhaps anger itself isn't the problem.

The better question might be:

What makes us angry?

Some anger grows out of wounded pride, jealousy, fear, or our desire to control others. That kind of anger can easily become destructive.

But sometimes anger tells us that something we love has been wounded.

We become angry when someone we love is mistreated.

We become angry when vulnerable people are exploited.

We become angry when someone abuses power.

We become angry when cruelty is disguised as righteousness.

That anger can become holy energy.

But there is another question we have to ask:

Where is my anger taking me?

Anger that becomes hatred eventually consumes us.

Anger that becomes vengeance creates more suffering.

But anger transformed by love can become courage.

It can become advocacy.

It can become protection.

It can become the determination to repair something that is broken.

Maybe the goal isn't to never become angry.

Maybe the goal is to bring our anger to God and ask God to transform it.

What does my anger reveal about what I love?

And how can that love lead me toward healing rather than harm?

Jesus never told us to stop caring enough to become angry.

He showed us how love can refuse to look away.

Anger can become destructive, but sometimes it is the soul's way of telling us that something we love has been wounded.

May we each heed the Scriptures' warning to "be angry, but do not sin," when it comes to things that we ought to be angry about. 

May it be so, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all, now and forever. Amen.  

Prayer

God of justice and mercy, help me understand my anger. Show me when it grows from fear or pride, and transform it when it does. But when my anger comes from seeing others hurt or injustice ignored, give me wisdom to turn it into courage, compassion, and loving action. Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. What tends to make you angry?
2. What might your anger reveal about the things you deeply value?
3. How could you transform anger into something healing or constructive?