When Grace Feels Unfair

 

“Grace is not something God gives; grace is who God is. Grace is God's official job description. Grace is what God does to keep all things God has made in love and alive—forever.” —Richard Rohr

When I was working on my undergraduate degree, one of my classes required a group project that counted as an exam grade. 

The group to which I was assigned met to talk about how we divide the labor on the project, and it was apparent there was one student who didn't seem to care all that much about it. 

Sure enough, he didn't do what he said he would do for the project, and as the final presentation drew near, the rest of us had to cover his portion as well as ours.  We ended up all getting an A in the assignment, including the dude who did nothing. 

I remember seething about this, as did the rest of our group.  I even went to the professor and complained about the way the assignment was structured.  He commiserated, but then said this: 

"I suppose you could have just let him do his thing, but then it may have affected the group grade.  Perhaps next time you have a project like this, you could figure out a way to motivate and help members who are struggling to keep up." 

I had many things to say in response to this, but paused for a moment as the professor continued. 

"The bottom line is, you all got an A.  You should be pleased."  

Looking back on that moment, I am reminded of a parable Jesus shared with his followers that speaks to the emotions the rest of the group was feeling about our weak-link team member.  

In Matthew chapter 20, Jesus tells a story about a vineyard owner who hires some workers to work in his vineyard for an agreed-upon daily wage.  

As the day wore on, the owner hired more workers who arrived about halfway through.  Then he hired more who arrived with just an hour left to work.  

The workers who arrived early had every reason to feel good.

They had worked all day.

They had endured the heat.

They had earned their wages.

Then the vineyard owner did something strange.

He paid the people who had arrived near the end of the day the same amount as those who had been working all day long.

Suddenly, what had seemed generous wasn't enough.

The workers began complaining.

“These last worked only one hour,” they said, “and you have made them equal to us.”

Those last few words tell a lot about how those workers felt.

Equal to us.

Comparison has an amazing ability to turn gratitude into resentment.

We can be perfectly content with our lives until we notice someone else received something we didn't.

Someone gets the promotion.

Someone's child succeeds.

Someone receives recognition.

Someone finds love.

Someone gets the opportunity we wanted.

And suddenly another person's blessing starts to feel like our loss.

Jesus' parable exposes the strange economy of grace.

The vineyard owner asks, “Are you envious because I am generous?”

God's Kingdom isn't governed by scarcity.

There isn't a limited supply of grace.

God doesn't have to love someone else less in order to love you more.

Another person's blessing doesn't subtract from yours.

Another person's success doesn't diminish your worth.

Another person's place at God's table doesn't mean there is less room for you.

Grace becomes offensive only when we start keeping score.

And perhaps that is why Jesus tells this story. We spend so much of life comparing ourselves with others—who has more, who deserves what, who worked harder, who arrived first.

Jesus keeps inviting us out of comparison and into gratitude.

Imagine what might happen if, instead of resenting someone else's joy, we learned to celebrate it.

Imagine saying:

“Thank God something beautiful happened to them.”

That is freedom.

What would Jesus do?

Jesus would celebrate God's generosity—even when that generosity reached people others believed didn't deserve it.

Because grace isn't fair.

And thank God it isn't. 
Because I'm not sure how many of us would find it if it was.  

May you find peace and gratitude in God's grace today and every day. 

And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all, now and forever. Amen.  

Prayer

Generous God, free me from the exhausting habit of comparison. Teach me to recognize the abundance already surrounding me and to celebrate your goodness in the lives of others. Replace envy with gratitude and scarcity with trust. Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. Where has comparison been stealing my gratitude?
2. Whose blessing or success is difficult for me to celebrate?
3. How might my life change if I truly believed there is enough grace to go around?