Learning to Handle Criticism

I once had a friend tell me that if everyone in my congregation agreed with me, I probably had created a cult and not a church.  I find a small amount of comfort in that when I have seasons when the critics come out of the woodwork. 

Churches that aren't willing to pursue some holy imagination tend to lose their ability to dream, and when that happens, death follows.  We change or die, according to the poet Wendell Berry, and it's not always warm and fuzzy as we do it.  

But not everyone embraces change easily, and when people become anxious, they often channel that anxiety into criticism, some of which can be pointed and hurtful.  

Winston Churchill once wrote:  

“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body; it calls attention to the development of an unhealthy state of things. If it is heeded in time, danger may be averted; if it is suppressed, a fatal distemper may develop."

There is a hard wisdom in those words. Criticism, like pain, is rarely welcome—but it can be deeply instructive. It has a way of exposing blind spots, challenging our assumptions, and inviting us to grow. 

Scripture echoes this truth: “Let the righteous strike me—it is a kindness; let them rebuke me—it is oil on my head” (Psalm 141:5). When we receive criticism with humility, it becomes a tool that refines us rather than diminishes us. It keeps our egos in check and reminds us that we are always becoming, always learning.

But not all criticism is created equal. Some voices are not seeking to heal, but to wound. Some critics speak of fear, misunderstanding, or even resentment. Jesus himself encountered this kind of opposition. In Matthew 11, he is criticized both for fasting and for feasting—proof that some people are less interested in truth than in tearing down what they cannot control or comprehend.

This is where spiritual maturity calls us to be self-differentiated—to know who we are in God, regardless of the noise around us. The apostle Paul writes, “It is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court… It is the Lord who judges me” (1 Corinthians 4:3–4). Paul is not dismissing accountability; rather, he is rooted in a deeper center. He listens, he learns, but he does not lose himself.

So we are invited to do the same. Listen for the truth in criticism—there may be something there that can help you grow. But do not surrender your calling to every loud or careless voice. Stay grounded. Stay faithful. If you believe you are doing the good work God has placed before you, then continue with courage.

Let criticism refine you, not define you.

Prayer
Gracious God, give me the wisdom to hear what is true, the humility to grow where I need it, and the courage to remain steady in the work you have called me to do. Guard my heart from bitterness and my spirit from fear. Help me walk faithfully in your truth. Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. When have you received criticism that ultimately helped you grow?
2. How can you discern the difference between helpful critique and harmful negativity?
3. What would it look like for you to stay grounded in your calling, even in the face of criticism?