Becoming Yourself Again

Over the past few years, I've had more than my share of low moments when I wondered if I would ever be able to find joy and happiness again, to feel like myself, or at least the self that I believed myself to be. 

I'd always been a glass-half-full kind of person, trying to see possibilities where others see obstacles.  I had big dreams and crazy ideas that often became amazing realities.  I felt such joy and excitement about the future; I didn't dread it. 

But that changed somewhere along the way during what became the most difficult time of my life.  And despite all my efforts, I didn't think I'd ever find my way back to that person I remembered being. 

Thankfully, I have found him again.  I went through hell to get to him, but here we are.  In the end, it all came down to a discovery I made about what it means to live less selfishly, to focus more on how I could serve others, and to let go of my desire for control. 

I'm still figuring this out, mind you.  I'm not doing it perfectly, but I'd like to share a bit of what I  am learning.  

You see, there are seasons in life when we begin to wonder if we have somehow lost the best parts of who we are. The compassion that once came naturally feels distant. The courage we used to carry seems buried under disappointment or fatigue. We look at ourselves and quietly ask, Where did that person go?

And yet, more often than not, we rediscover ourselves in the most unexpected ways.

It happens when someone is in need, and we show up. When a moment calls for kindness, and we offer it almost instinctively. When we see a gap in the world—a hurt, a hunger, a loneliness—and something within us rises to meet it. In those moments, we catch a glimpse of who we thought we had lost.

Frederick Buechner once wrote, “Vocation is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Sometimes we don’t go searching for our true selves—we stumble upon them when our lives intersect with the needs of others. Service has a way of awakening what lies dormant within us. It reminds us that goodness is not gone; it has simply been waiting for its moment.

Scripture echoes this truth. In Galatians 6:9, we are encouraged, “Let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up.” And in 2 Timothy 1:6, Paul urges, “Rekindle the gift of God that is within you.” These words remind us that what is good and God-given within us is not extinguished—it only needs to be stirred back to life.

Every act of love, every quiet step toward what is right, true, and good, fans that hidden flame. And sometimes, to our own surprise, we find ourselves becoming again the person we thought we had lost.

So if you feel disconnected from your better self, take heart. The light within you has not gone out. It is still there, waiting—ready to be rekindled in the moments when you choose to love, to serve, and to step forward in faith.

Prayer
Gracious God, when I feel lost to myself, remind me of who I truly am in you. Stir within me the gifts you have placed in my heart. Help me to see opportunities to love and serve, and in doing so, rediscover the light you have never taken away. Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. When have you recently surprised yourself by responding with kindness, courage, or compassion?

2. Where might God be inviting you to serve or step forward right now?

3. What would it look like to “rekindle” the gifts within you in this season of your life?