Forgiveness As Freedom

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” — Lewis B. Smedes

Years ago, a woman came to me after I preached a sermon on forgiveness. She waited until everyone else had left, then said quietly, “I’ve forgiven a lot of people in my life — except one.” Her eyes brimmed with tears. “I say I’ve forgiven them, but the truth is, I think about the hurt they caused every single day. I don’t know how to let it go.”

I told her that I completely understood how hard it is to forgive some people, especially those who have done something to hurt us.  Sometimes those wounds don't turn into scars; they stay open and festering.  

Then I said that if we can't figure out how to let go of our pain and bitterness, it can consume us.  We can become so accustomed to bitterness that we can't imagine life without feeling it.

She told me, "I don't know if I can let it go. What they did was unforgivable."    

That conversation reminded me that forgiveness isn’t an event; it’s a process — sometimes a painfully slow one. It’s also one of the most courageous acts of faith we can undertake.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, excusing, or pretending the wound didn’t matter. It means refusing to let that wound become the defining story of our lives. It’s not about minimizing harm; it’s about reclaiming our freedom.

When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He included the line, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12) He knew that to live in community, we must learn to release what we cannot resolve. Without forgiveness, bitterness hardens into a wall — separating us not only from others, but from peace itself.

Forgiveness is not easy; it is grace’s hardest work. But it is also its most liberating. To forgive is to step out of the role of victim and back into the role of child of God. It is choosing mercy over resentment, surrender over control.

Sometimes, the person you most need to forgive is yourself. We all carry regrets, words we wish we could unsay, choices we wish we could remake. But God’s forgiveness is already spoken over those places. The invitation is to believe it — and then live like it’s true.

When we forgive, we don’t change the past; we change our relationship to it. We loosen our grip on the hurt so God can place healing in our hands.

Prayer

Merciful God,
teach me the courage of forgiveness.
Release the weight I carry — the old stories, the quiet grudges,
the ways I have bound myself in anger.
As You have forgiven me, help me forgive others.
Turn my wounds into wisdom
and my resentment into peace.
Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. Is there someone whose name still brings pain or tension when you think of them?

2. What would freedom look like for you if you released that burden to God?

3. What does it mean for you to believe that you, too, are forgiven?