The Ministry of Listening

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” —David Augsburger

A little over two years ago, I was going through one of the worst seasons of my life.  I felt like my entire world was falling apart because, in a sense, it was.  My marriage of 32 years was coming to an end, my family was never going to be the same, and along with everything, I was facing serious financial challenges.

As a pastor, I try my best to be there for anyone in my church family who is going through hard times, to offer my prayers, guidance, and presence.  But I have serious issues asking for help for myself.  

Even so, I reached out to a friend during the whirlwind of those days, and ended up talking for a couple of hours.  I don't think she said more than a couple of sentences to me while I poured out everything that was on my troubled heart. 

Nothing got solved.  The hurt didn't go away.  The situation didn't change.  But I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders after that conversation because I was listened to without judgment.  

My friend made me feel known and loved, and thats what I needed most in that moment.  

Listening is one of the most sacred—and most neglected—forms of love. We live in a time when everyone wants to be heard, but few want to truly listen. Conversations often become battlegrounds for opinions instead of spaces for understanding. 

Yet Scripture calls us to a different way: “Let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19)

To listen is to love with our ears, our patience, and our presence. It is to say to another person, You matter enough for me to stop talking and start attending. 

The ministry of listening is not passive; it’s active, intentional, and deeply spiritual. When we listen well, we imitate the God who hears the cries of God's people, who inclines an ear toward the brokenhearted.

Consider the story of the risen Jesus walking with two discouraged disciples on the road to Emmaus. The disciples didn't recognize Jesus at first, and before revealing Himself, Jesus first listened. He asked questions: “What are you discussing as you walk along?” He allowed them to pour out their confusion, grief, and disappointment. Only then did He speak, gently reframing their pain in light of God’s redemptive story. It was in that moment of being truly heard that their hearts began to burn within them.

To listen deeply in a world of noise is a countercultural act of grace. It creates space for healing, reconciliation, and understanding. Listening can disarm hostility, bridge divides, and remind others that they are seen and valued. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give is not advice, but attention.

Listening is how we love to learn someone’s language.

Maybe there’s someone in your life who needs to be heard more than they need to be fixed. Maybe it’s time to lay down the need to have the last word and instead offer the first ear. When we do, we discover that listening is not only how we understand others—it’s how we make room for the presence of God.

Prayer

God who listens,
teach me the sacred art of being still and attentive.
Quiet my anxious mind and help me to hear with compassion and understanding.
May my listening become a sanctuary where others feel safe,
and may I hear Your voice speaking through every story and silence.
Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. Who in your life might be longing simply to be heard right now?

2. How can you practice listening without trying to fix, defend, or explain?

3. In what ways might God be speaking to you through the voices you often overlook?