Holding On To Wonder

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Today, I'm not at my best.  I woke up several times last night, and then struggled to go back to sleep each time because my mind was racing with a multitude of worries and negative thoughts. 

I woke up wanting to go back to sleep and not get out of bed today. 

But just now, I decided to take a breath, and a sip of coffee, and watch the sunlight dance around my room, as it makes rainbows on my comforter.  

I've decided to take those rainbows as a quiet reminder that even the floods of doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty that feel imminent and overwhelming won't overcome me.  

Plus, it's simply beautiful.  

It all brings to mind a quote from Lauren F. Winner who wrote the following in her book Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis:

“Some days I am not sure if my faith is riddled with doubt, or whether, graciously, my doubt is riddled with faith. And yet I continue to live in a world the way a religious person lives in the world; I keep living in a world that I know to be enchanted, and not left alone. I doubt; I am uncertain; I am restless, prone to wander. And yet glimmers of holy keep interrupting my gaze.”

Winner captures the paradox of faith with profound honesty. Many of us know what it feels like to hold our questions in one hand and our trust in the other, uncertain which outweighs the other. 

Yet, as she notes, even in doubt, there are “glimmers of holy” that break into our vision—small reminders that the Divine has not abandoned us.

Scripture acknowledges this tension. The psalmist cries, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1), but only a few verses later proclaims, “I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13:6). 

Faith and doubt, despair and hope, coexist in the same breath. Likewise, Thomas asks for proof of Jesus’ resurrection, but his doubt becomes the doorway to the most profound confession: “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28).

To live faithfully is not to eliminate uncertainty, but to cultivate wonder in the midst of it. Wonder keeps us open to God’s quiet interruptions: a sunrise that feels like grace, a child’s laughter that carries healing, a whispered prayer that steadies our soul. 

When our faith feels fragile, wonder invites us to see the world not as abandoned, but as still enchanted with God’s presence.

So let us live with eyes and hearts wide open, attentive to those holy interruptions. Doubt may visit, but wonder keeps us tethered to hope, reminding us that God’s love endures even when our certainty falters.

A Prayer

Holy God, when doubt overwhelms and my faith feels thin, open my eyes to the wonder of Your presence. Help me notice the glimmers of holiness all around me, and remind me that even in uncertainty, I am never alone. Amen.

Reflection Questions

  1. When have you experienced a “glimmer of holy” in the midst of doubt or struggle?

  2. How does holding on to wonder shift your perspective when faith feels fragile?

  3. What practices help you stay attentive to signs of God’s presence in daily life?


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