God, Rid Me Of God

I've spent most of my life trying to understand God.  

As I have grown older and perhaps a little wiser, I have concluded that the more I learn about God, the less I know.  

I used to have a lot of certainty regarding my beliefs about God.  God fit neatly into my little belief boxes, and behaved (I thought).  I formed my opinions about how God worked in the world by reading the Bible and not really questioning any of it. 

It took a crisis of faith to change all of that for me.  Everything I thought I knew for certain came crashing down.  I realized that God was bigger than any version of God I had formed, and honestly the God I had conjured up resembled me more than anything else. 

I began to reflect more and more on the prayer of the 13th century mystic Meister Eckhart, who prayed: "God, ride me of God." Eckhart's goal was to be set free from all of the ways he limited God in word, thought and deed. 

The other day I stumbled across a poem by Joel McKerrow based on Eckhart's prayer and this stanza stood out for me: 

The world around me becomes what I perceive it to be.
I do not see you as you are,
I see you as I may be.
I am in bondage to these things that I think I know.
My idols are my understandings set in stone.
So stay liquid God even as I try to freeze you into my moulds,
especially the one that looks just like me.

What a powerful poem!  And a perfect addendum to Eckhart's prayer.  

I've found that Richard Rohr is so helpful when we begin considering our knowledge of God.  He wisely observes:  

“You tend to create a God who is just like you—whereas it was supposed to be the other way around… God hardly ever holds on to control, if the truth be told… Any kind of authentic God experience will usually feel like love or suffering, or both.” 

This amazing bit of wisdom invites us to reflect on how often we mold our understanding of God to fit our needs, fears, and imperfections rather than recognizing the Divine as an expansive, unconditional presence that calls us toward authentic love. 

In our human experience, we tend to project our limitations onto God, crafting a version of the Divine that resembles our own characteristics and tendencies. This can lead to the false notion that God's love is conditional, requiring us to meet certain expectations before we are worthy of that love. 

Instead, true wisdom reveals that God, in all God's glory, does not seek to control us or coerce our hearts. Rather, we are given the powerful gift of free will—the choice to embrace love, step into vulnerability, and experience connection with the Divine and one another. 

Author, philosopher and theologian Peter Rollins, in his book How [Not] To Speak of God, reminds us, “We are not called to find God, but to find ourselves in God.” 

This statement beautifully encapsulates that our journey should not be about projecting a limited understanding of God but rather exploring how we can engage with the Divine presence within us and around us. 

In love, we encounter God as the encompassing warmth and support that invites us into a deeper relationship with ourselves and the world. In suffering, we discover the painful yet transformative aspect of God. This presence walks with us through our trials, offering comfort and strength as we navigate the complexities of existence.

The invitation here is not to shy away from God in moments of pain or to dismiss the love that permeates our lives. Instead, we are challenged to seek God in love and suffering, recognizing that each experience enriches our understanding of the divine. 

Through love, we find communion and joy; through suffering, we gain resilience and empathy. Each moment offers a chance to deepen our relationship with God, freeing us from the constraints of a limited view.

I encourage you to embrace the fullness of your experiences to encounter God. Ask yourself what insights they reveal about the Divine in both the heights of love and the depths of suffering. 

Choose to see, learn, and grow in these moments, allowing them to shape your understanding of God and your place in the greater narrative of existence. In doing so, you may discover a more authentic relationship with God—a relationship that reflects the boundless love and grace that God offers.

May it be so, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us now, and always. Amen.