Conversation With God
There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God. - Brother Lawrence
So I've been thinking.
I could really use a sign or something.
It doesn't have to be anything dramatic. I'm not a flashing-light, shouting from a bullhorn kind of guy, so you can be subtle if you want.
But a sign would be good.
This is the part where I explain why I need a sign, but you already know why.
It's okay, I'll say it anyway--mostly because I want to hear myself say it.
I could use a sign because I really just want to know that you are there.
I'm not trying to be difficult. It just feels like you're not there sometimes, is all.
Christians aren't supposed to say things like that, I've been told.
That's okay, I understand why people might get upset.
It's fear that does it to you.
You don't want to say it because you feel like there's an outside chance it might be true, and you don't know if you can live with that.
For the record, I do think you're there. Somewhere.
And about the whole "I could use a sign thing..."
I hope you know that am not discounting all of those other signs.
There have been more than a few moments when I knew you were watching. \
Things too perfect to be a coincidence.
Although I have heard that coincidence is just your way of showing off.
I was outside walking today and the weather was absolutely perfect.
Honestly, it felt like I couldn't breathe in enough--the air felt so fresh.
And the sky was so blue--almost too blue, if that makes sense.
I just had to stop for a moment and let myself take it all in.
The feeling that overwhelmed me the most right then was gratitude.
I was grateful for all of it.
And I felt my heart kind of swell up in my chest.
"You didn't have to make it so beautiful" I wanted to say.
And that's when I heard your voice (mine) in my head say this:
I know, but I wanted to---for this moment and millions more like it.
And then I remember the Psalm about how every part of creation sings back the song you placed into them long ago before the foundations of the earth were laid.
Then it hits me. Instead of asking, "Where are you God?" I should be asking "Where aren't you?"
Thanks for this.
I will probably (will) be back tomorrow.
May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always amen.