You Are Chosen
One of the most important questions of my life came early in my journey toward seminary and eventually ordination as a minister.
It was a question that would find its way back into my thoughts and prayers more than once since then.
"Am I really chosen for this?"
Which then led to these follow up questions: "Am I good enough? Am I too broken... too unworthy...?"
You see, in those early days I wondered if what I was feeling was an actual calling by God, or if it was just my own desires--an effort to fulfill some need.
I felt ill-equipped and messed up. I was the wrong person. And some days I felt the desire to do what I was doing begin to wane, and doubts about my direction would fill me with dread.
From time to time, I've felt those old feelings creep back in and those old questions that inevitably follow.
Perhaps you have felt the same way. Maybe you are transitioning to something new and you wonder if you are ready. Or you have had some setbacks and you have begun to doubt the direction of your journey.
Maybe you feel as though you aren't good enough to be used by God in whatever way you are feeling God may want to use you.
Fr. Richard Rohr speaks directly into this more profoundly than I could. He writes:
God is always choosing people. First impressions aside, God is not primarily choosing them for a role or a task, although it might appear that way. God is really choosing them to be God's self in this world, each in a unique situation.Come on! When I first read this, it gave me such a thrill, such a sense of hope. If we think of our sense of calling as role-focused and task-oriented, we will always find ourselves in places of self-doubt and overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy.
But if we can begin to grasp that God desires for us to be uniquely us in particular moments for the purpose of God acting through us to achieve God's will and work in the world... it can change everything.
May you see yourself as uniquely chosen to do what only you can do to embody the Divine in the world. May you find a new sense of purpose and meaning, and leave behind any feelings of doubt or inadequacy.
And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.