When It Feels Like You Are Moving In Place
I listen to a lot of music throughout my day. It often helps me make spiritual connections to the things that are going on around me and in me.
If you have never heard of Jimmy Eat World, don't worry---there's still time. But only if you like really good rock and or roll with an alternative kind of twist.
There's a song on Surviving entitled "555" that has been speaking to me about what it means to struggle when you are trying to pray and keep spiritual practices--hoping all along that you'll experience God, or even just feel something happen... and it doesn't.
I keep my focus on the simple things
Try to find some peace along the way
Wish I knew how long I'm supposed to wait
But just barely
Got the feeling I've been talking to a dead, dead line
Always a reason
To let it change
Is there anyone there?
I'm doing the things I've been told everyday...
Then why does it feel like I'm moving in place..?
As I reflected earlier this week, sometimes we can get caught up in the doing when it comes to our spiritual practices, and we neglect the being, which is truly the most formative part.
When we are focused on the doing, we also can find ourselves growing weary of it, especially when our souls are bruised and wounded, when we are feeling disconnected from the Divine.
In her latest book, Sarah Bessey confesses her struggles with spiritual practices like prayer during these kinds of seasons in her life:
There have been seasons when I couldn't pray, seasons when I had no desire to pray, when I wanted to pray but had no words, when prayer felt ridiculous and ineffectual...If you are feeling as though none of the things that you are trying to do to draw closer to God are working... If your soul is weary and wounded and you can't seem to find the point... If you have become busy in your spiritual practices, and have lost your sense of wonder...
May you find space to simply be in the midst of your practices.
Find prayers that are meaningful to read aloud if you have none of your own. Find music that tells your story better than you could have told it. Find space for quiet and let your questions go unanswered for a moment.
Allow yourself to feel your lostness and disconnection, and know it's not the end of your path--it's a beginning.
And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.