Angry At God
Some years ago, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross put forward the notion that there are five stages to grief that virtually all people who have suffered loss go through as they grieve.
The five stages are: Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression and Acceptance.
What I have learned over the years is that those five stages might very well exist, but it's a crock that we all feel them the same way, and in the same sequence.
My mom passed away two days ago at the age of 73. Her beautiful, sweet, grace-filled life ended far too son.
I have to be honest. I am feeling more than my fair share of anger right about now. I think I skipped on by the first two stage of grief and went straight to being ticked off.
I'm not exactly mad because I think God caused my mom to die. I have never believed that God worked that way, and I am not about to start now.
I also don't believe that God wanted Mom to be in heaven more than he wanted her here with us, either. That kind of sentimentality is complete malarky.
I am mad because I don't know why. If I could just know why this all happened, I would be fine with it. I'm mad because I want a sign, I want a reason. And there isn't one--at least for now.
I also know that God can handle my anger.
I know this because there's a pretty good chunk of the Bible that is filled with people letting God know how angry they are because they don't know why. Seriously. Half of the Psalms, a good portion of the Prophets and an entire book (Lamentations) is made up of people angrily asking God "Why?"
If you have angry questions for God, don't be afraid to ask them. God's promise to never leave or forsake us is a promise that holds true in every circumstance.
May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.