When Jesus Wrecks Your Life
The other day I had a conversation with a church member, who told me that she had become hopelessly convicted to do something to help refugees. She told me that she had begun to feel "uncomfortable" about her feelings, and that she couldn't shake them.
She told me, "I really feel like this is something that Jesus wants me to do."
I replied, "That pesky Jesus... always showing up and wrecking our lives." We laughed, but not the kind of laugh that you would laugh at a joke or a video of someone falling into a pool. It was a knowing laugh, tinged with a bit of trepidation.
It was the kind of laugh that you laugh when you are about to jump off the side of a cliff into a lake or a river. Even if you are scared out of your mind, you can hear yourself giggling madly in those moments right before you step off the edge.
So, my church member and I laughed together about how Jesus was messing with her, and I think we both knew that things were probably going to change for her in the near future if she made the choice to respond to the call she was hearing.
You probably have heard that old adage about how accepting a challenge will either "make or break you." I think following Jesus is a challenge all unto itself. Following Jesus, first breaks you... then makes you.
If your journey with Jesus seems kind of boring, placid, full of ease and contentment--you're probably doing it wrong. Seriously, you could attend church regularly, drop checks in the offering plate, go to Bible studies, volunteer here and there when you have the time... and still be missing the point.
I was reading a devotion by Fr. Richard Rohr this morning and he wrote the following: "If your spiritual practice doesn’t lead you to some acts of concrete caring or service, then you have every reason not to trust it."
Rohr goes on to say that St. John Cassian (c. 360-435) called the feeling my church member is feeling the pax perniciosa or “dangerous peace.” Pastor Bill Hybels referred to it as "holy discontent."
Know this: whatever it's called, you can't shake it when you feel it.
May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always.